Today's date is December 24 with an hour left to go before its:
Christmas!!!
Another year has past me. Time flies so fast; I'll have to admit that when 2007 first started, I wondered if this year would ever end. But after my Junior year ended and Senior year started, I never felt time pass this fast. This year has been quite a stupid dramatic year. I hate drama. I am a simple man; not in terms of the head, but a lifestyle. I want a life where I don't have to ponder about how to deal with a certain person without trying to kill them. First, there was quite a bit of tension with one of my close friends. That ended quite nicely, but that incident caused me to be very cautious when any circumstance tries to bring us together past the comfortable mutual friend status. There is another matter and I rather not speak about yet because I am still in the process of bypassing it emotionally.
In terms of personality, I think this is the time to divulge the weaknesses that need to be addressed. First, procrastination. Next, laziness. Next, Anger and Commitment. Most importantly, the response to correction. I really got a good lesson in procrastination from college applications. I just waited to the LAST moment to do everything. Aish I REALLY regret that. Next, this procrastination comes from the how lazy I am. I just don't like to do things with all my all. Big problem. I need to fix that slowly. At least with baby steps. I feel like my anger and commitment issues are going to stab in the back later on in life. I need to fix that ASAP. Even though its not really that big, I think that weakness with only get worse and worse as time progresses so I need to fix that with baby steps also.
Lastly, the most important thing that I need to fix is my reaction to fixing correction from others. This is so important that I'm going to devote a whole paragraph to it. I think i have a real pride issue. I really hate getting corrected. But I think that issue comes from a culmination of all different things. First, I'm a little prideful bastard. I always think I'm right. If someone conflicts with my views, even though I am wrong, I will argue with them to make them change their view. I need to change my bitterness to the correction that loved ones around me give me.
Although I know that I won't change everything at once, the fact that I recognized some of my weak point might make me a better person. Baby steps. Haha that term is so cliche but it actually has some significant meaning for me.
Now that 2008 is quickly approaching, I want to start naming things that I want to see in my life.
1. I want to develop a trust between my parents - I really don't have a trusting relationship with my parents, but I really want to change that. Parents that can trust their kids can usually go more easy on them, than the stupid death grip security that my parents usually enforce. Thats partially my fault though because of all the deeds I have done to to cause this impairment and, in the end, mistrust.
2. I want to be more real around the people I care about. Sometimes I put this fake facade that makes me sick every time I think about it. It's always about the jolly stupid Chris that everyone sees me as, but at home I have a totally new personality, a more mature, quiet personality. I want other people to see more of the mature personality even though I will always show the happy, loud personality. That is a real personality I have.
3. GET FIT. RAWR!
I am here typing this blog in a picturesque setting. I am in the lobby sitting on a coach with a fireplace right in front of me and snow visible from the window directly to my right. Ahh.
Thats about it. I'll write again soon. My head is pretty empty.
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